Yay for No Housework Day!
According to several “national holiday” sites on the web, April 7th is “No Housework Day”. There’s not much history behind this “special day”, and most sources assume it originated from someone who was tired of performing daily chores. But, who cares? If I can come up with an excuse not to do the dishes, run the washing machine, sweep and mop… I’ll take it!
A dear friend once told me, “If the dishes are done, the house is clean.” I tried that, but my mother-in-law said it wouldn’t fly. Looking for ways to cut corners, I tried mopping with my feet, but the dog kept thinking I’m trying to play with her. Dusting? I inhale real deep, and blow. Unfortunately, I run out of breath before I can finish the coffee table.
As many of you know, my husband is blind. To him, if that little section of the counter he uses to prepare whatever he puts in the toaster oven feels clean, then the kitchen itself is clean. I might also add that, according to him, running hot water for a few minutes will clean a glass.
I’ve come up with plenty of excuses for a messy house. We’re still moving in… We’re redecorating… I’m trying to reorganize everything… My friends and family, however, know the truth. I hate cleaning. Pure and simple.
Today reminds me of those funny retro sayings, plenty of which should on signs or magnets in my kitchen (if I could only find the time to move things around so they could be seen!). Among my favorites:
- Make yourself at home… Clean my kitchen!
- “I think housework is the reason most women go to the office” – Heloise Cruse
- “My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.” – Erma Bombeck
- “Housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?” – Phyllis Diller
- Oh, I’m sorry. You must be confusing me with the maid we don’t have.
- “Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.” – Mario Buatta
- Instead of cleaning the house, I just turn off the lights! (This one’s available on a coffee mug or kitchen towel.)
- The house was clean yesterday.
They say that today is the perfect day for a spouse, or children, to take over the chores. What scares me about that are the new excuses I’ll have to come up with tomorrow.