There’s Nothing Funny About Me and My Coffee

Retro Staff Comments

Coffee and Sleep Tin SignI love coffee. I love the smell of it brewing, and its bold flavor. For many, coffee was an acquired taste, but I remember sneaking sips of my mother’s when I was quite young, and I simply fell in love.

American film director David Lynch once said, “Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” He couldn’t have been more right, as was evidence by the many unlabeled bags of grounds I brewed during my college years. That, and the many mornings I had poured cold coffee into a pot to reheat on the stove. (This, of course, was before I discovered the wonders of iced coffee).

Non-coffee drinkers will never understand our desire—no, need—for a good cup ‘o joe…

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.” – Dave Barry

Over the years there have been some funny, but very true, sayings about coffee. Many adorned signs on the walls of diners and donut shops, and we just can’t help but laugh. Here are my favorite funny sayings about why us coffee drinkers need our fix before starting each day. Some have been around for ages, and are unattributed, while others are more modern quotes by famous folk.

Coffee Shaking Tin Sign

Coffee Tin Sign – Gets the message across!

“Coffee! If you’re not shaking, you need another cup.”

“Coffee! You can sleep when you’re dead.”

“Drink Coffee: Do stupid things faster with more energy.”

“I’ve started drinking my coffee out of a clear mug, so people know where my tolerance level is at.”

“I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!”

“Instant Human. Just add coffee.”

“With enough coffee anything is possible.”

“Police work wouldn’t be possible without coffee,” Wallander said.
“No work would be possible without coffee.”
They pondered the importance of coffee in silence.”
― Henning MankellOne Step Behind

And that’s just a few of them. How about you? Got a favorite coffee quote to share? Perhaps you’ve coined a few phrases yourself, possibly sparked from another’s attempt to speak to you before you’ve had your first cup…


Last updated: Jan 20, 2014
Filed under: Retro Food and Recipes Tagged with: coffee, humor